Shoot Your Shot, Ladies! - Part 2

Please like, comment and share... Part 3 coming on Thursday, June 4

AYOOLA

I hear a knock on my door and know that Korede is standing at the other side of the door. For some reason, I feel nervous and I can’t explain why. My inner voice is telling me to get a grip. I don’t even know this woman, so why should she have such an effect on me already. "Come in.” I say and quickly look down at the documents on my desk. I want her to be standing in front of me before I look up. I want to see the surprise on her face when she sees me. I hear the door open with footsteps approaching my desk and my heart beats faster. What’s happening to me? “Good morning sir. You asked to see me” she says, standing right in front of my desk. I look up and see the shock on her face when she recognises me. Her mouth is quivering like she wants to say something but is lost for words. “Hi Korede. Please take a seat.” I say and wait for her to sit down. “We kind of met in the elevator just then, didn’t we?” I’m trying to bait her. I can tell by the way she keeps looking around that she’s nervous. She has not maintained eye contact since this conversation started. “Sorry sir. I I I didn’t know you were the one sir.” She stutters, still not maintaining eye contact. “That’s fine. Please no need for sir, you can call me Mr C or Ayoola, whichever you prefer. I just wanted to say I have heard great things about you from Adesua and Amadi and wanted to meet you in person to thank you for your hard work.” “Oh. You’re welcome sir. Sorry I mean Mr C.” she blushes and looks down at her fingers, my eyes follow hers as well and then I see it. Her wedding ring. Whoa, I didn’t know she was married and here I was already having heart palpitations for a married woman. “How’s your husband?” I ask, trying to shift the conversation in a different direction. “He’s umm ummm late.” She says and for the first time, looked me straight in the eyes and that sad face was there again. The one I saw when we were in the elevator together. Gosh, Ayoola what have you done? Did she assume I knew her husband was late? What do I say now? “I’m so so sorry to hear that. I just assumed…you know…seeing your finger…ugh I’m so sorry Korede. If you don’t want to talk about it, I absolutely understand.” I’m totally embarrassed at this point. “It’s okay. It’s almost a year now. I just can’t seem to take the ring off yet. We were married for exactly 3 months, 16 days and we were so happy together but then he was involved in a car accident with his brother and that was it.” she explains. I’m tempted to go round my desk, hug her and tell her everything will be fine but I won’t and I can’t. She works for me and that would clearly be crossing the line. Instead, I say, “I’m sorry once again. If there is anything at all I can help with, you know where to find me. I’d better leave you to get back to work. It was a pleasure meeting you Korede.” “Thank you. The pleasure is all mine sir. Sorry…Mr C.” and with that, she steps out and goes back to work.

After she leaves, I replay our conversation in different scenarios. I know this is not going to change anything but thinking about it gives me a weird sense of comfort and just then and there, I decided to ensure she’s looked after and taken care of in the office. **********************************************************************************************

KOREDE

Today has been one of a kind. Amid meeting Mr C, talking about my late husband to a man that looks quite like him and the regular job I have to deal with, I must say it’s been truly one of a kind. I look at my watch and realise it’s already 9.45 pm and I’m just entering the house. I notice the bedroom light is still on in Mummy D’s room and decide to greet her before doing anything else. Mummy D is my late husband’s mother. Her name is actually Dorcas Osagie but we all call her Mummy D. And yes, I live with my mother-in-law. Technically, she really isn’t my mother-in-law because my husband is late but after he and his brother passed on, I told her to move from Ibadan to Lagos to stay with me and we found comfort in each other. “Mummy D, good evening. How was your day? Se ti jeun?, I kneel down to greet her. My mother-in-law is from Edo state but because she lived in Ibadan most of her life and I was raised as a Yoruba girl anyway, I still kneel down to greet her. Moreover, she speaks Yoruba fluently and understands the traditions, so it goes without saying. “K’abo oko mi. Mo ti jeun. I made some jollof rice and chicken, yours is in the microwave. How was your own day?” she says, pulls me to my feet and then taps the bed to signal sit down. “My day wasn’t bad at all, working late hours as usual. Adesua had been staying back with me most nights but now that our boss is back, she has her own workload. Funny that everyone is now on their A game since the boss got back.” “I trust you to always be on your A game regardless. You are a very hardworking woman and anybody that cannot see that is missing out. By the way, there is something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about…I know we haven’t had this discussion ever…but I was praying this afternoon and God led me to this scripture… Ecclesiastes 3: 1- 11. I know you know what it says but let me read one particular verse”, she grabs her Bible and glasses from the nightstand and continues “It says there is ‘a time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.’ What do you think about this verse, my dear?” “Hmm, I think we all go through seasons in life. There is always a time for everything.” I say and wonder where this conversation is going, seeing as she said we haven’t had this discussion before. “That’s right. Korede, omo mi ni e. I know I didn’t give birth to you but when you married Nosa, you became mine. I remember the day he told me you were an orphan, while you guys were still dating, I promised him I would take you in as my own. Nothing has changed…”

I interrupt her to say, “Mummy, I know. You are not like a mother to me; you are the only mother I know and you have been excellent. Nosa would be proud of how you are taking care of me.”

“Yes, my dear and he would be proud of you too….but the thing is…you are what 24, 25….you only work work work, no outings, no mingling. It’s a triangle, Olukorede. Work, Home, Church…. when will you meet someone else if you don’t go out?”, she pulls out my full name and I know she means business.

Indeed, we have never, I mean never spoken about me moving on. Home is my comfort zone, where I can wallow in pity and not have to be reminded to move on but now my own mother-in-law is telling me to move on. If I’m being honest, the thought has crossed my mind just once, not because I don’t want to re-marry but I just don’t know how I can move on. Nosa was my everything. Though we were married for 3 months, we started dating when I was 19, so we were in a relationship for about 5 years before marriage. He was also my first boyfriend.

“Mummy, I understand what you’re saying but I just don’t know how to move on. It’s not even a year yet and I still dream of him. Also, who is going to want to marry a young widow? Isn’t there a stigma with that in Nigeria?” I reply

“First of all, no stigma kan kan. You are a young and beautiful woman. It is not a big deal to be a widow at your age. I lost my own husband when Nosa and Osaze were already in University, so remarrying might not have worked for me but it can and will work for you…. Also, my own advice oh, maybe you can start by taking off your ring.” she says now holding my hands with a squeeze.

My ring! Hmm. I don’t know how to take that off. I know someone might say, just use the other hand to pull it out, how big of a deal is that? But to me, it’s more than that. I feel like the moment I take it off, Nosa seizes to exist and with that I tell her “I can’t. I’m not ready. Sorry mummy D.” And I leave her room to go to mine. At this stage, I would pass on the Jollof rice and chicken. I just want to sleep away this pain.

As soon as I hit the bed, I cry and cry till I finally fall asleep, dreaming of my baby again.

Please like, comment and share... Part 3 coming on Thursday, June 4